Tag Archives: marriage

I can’t believe it’s been almost seven months since we last posted.

I knew it had been awhile. I knew we were letting things slip, but I hadn’t realized it was that long.

Oh well. It’s not the worst thing in the world. This blog is supposed to be for fun, for sharing some insight into our lives; not as something else to add to our to-do list or to get “just right”. There’s no pressure when it comes to this blog. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

It seems fitting though, that the last thing I posted here was about “Turning Pro” as a writer. In the months since that post, I have quit my job to write full-time.

It still feels weird (and incredible) to write that. It is undoubtedly the best decision we have ever made. Or, at least I feel that way. I can’t speak for Aaron, who likely misses (even if only a little) my additional income.

Aaron was the catalyst for this change, though. He was the one - and still is the one - who pushed me to do what I really wanted to do; what I loved to do. What, it seems, that I am actually pretty good at. Most days, he has far more confidence than I have in myself and that has been nice. When I worry or when I stress, I have an eternal cheerleader who is somehow able to convince me that I am good enough, smart enough, talented enough. That we can and will not only make this work, but actually knock it out of the fucking park.

Though I have had moments of worry or uncertainty, they’ve been rare so far - and that’s mostly thanks to him.

What else is new?

In the one month that I’ve been a full-time writer, I’ve had two pieces published (one that is a more creative piece and one that was a business-related guest post) and I’ve done copywriting work for two fantastic new clients (as well as some pro bono work for a few friends).

Aaron is still working with the Ontario Reign and, despite the commute, he loves it. In fact, I think I complain about his commute more than he does. Moving out to the east side of Los Angeles really changed everything for him, in terms of the time he was spending on the road every day, so as difficult as that move was for me, I’m thankful for it. It’s changed our lives in a lot of ways.

Of course, that means that we’re still living with mom, though the goal is to move out by the end of this year. That’s always been the goal, of course, and I want to stick to that, even with my changing career path. As I just mentioned, this year living at home has been life-changing. I’ve fought it internally and I’ve had moments (more moments than I care to share) where I felt embarrassed or as if this didn’t fit within my “life plan”, but ultimately, it’s been the best decision we could have made. We have paid off all our of debt (not including our student and car loans, though those are up next; being knocked out one at a time) and we both are now doing the work that we love and are made to do. Teigen has a constant companion in my mom’s pup, Lola, and I get to spend an inordinate amount of time with the person I love most in this world, next to Aaron: my mama. Even though it took me awhile to see the many positives of the situation, this has been the best move for us. And I’m so thankful to my mom for allowing us the opportunity.

There are a lot of exciting things coming up for us! I’m taking a long-awaited (and much-needed) trip to San Francisco and the Bay Area in late June/early July and Aaron is joining me in Roseville (outside Sacramento, where our besties live!) for the 4th of July. I’m turning 30 in six months (!!!). And we’ll hopefully have a booming business, lots of published writing, and a new home to speak of in the next year too.

I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful for this life of mine. For my husband, my family, my puppy, my friends, and my work. It’s so much more than I could have ever hoped for and I don’t want to forget for a second how blessed I am.

WARNING: This post includes feelings. And complaining. Mostly, complaining about my feelings. I hope you'll proceed with the non-judgiest of caution.

Marriage is all about compromise.

That's one of the many pieces of marital advice I've collected over the years. It's one of the keys to a successful marriage, I've been told, and I do believe it to be true (though I'm certain marriage is about a lot of other, more positively-associated, things too). But as accurate as the adage may be, that doesn't make it easy.

Aaron and I have now been living with my mom* for a month.

Compromise is the reason we moved away from our home in the first place. There are benefits to both Aaron and me, no doubt - we both have the opportunity to save money, for instance. And my mom is a loving, giving, and fun roomie! But at the same time, I now have a 4+ hour commute to work every day, while Aaron's commute to his new job (which we knew was a significant distance from our home when he took it) has been cut in half.

And it's tough. Spending at least nine hours at work and another four hours in my car every day is seriously wearing on me - even after only a month. I knew it was going to be tough, but I didn't realize quite how draining it would be.

There have been nights where I've called Aaron in tears as I sat in what could very accurately be described as a parking lot at 9 o'clock at night, trying desperately to get home with enough time to check my Facebook and cuddle my dog before I passed out. Only to wake up 5 hours later and do it all over again.

I know I'm not the only person with an awful commute (especially in Los Angeles!) or one-half of the only young couple that's moved back in with mom and dad, but the potential camraderie of this shared experience is one I'd sooner do without.

It's a strain on my energy. It's a strain on my sanity. And, most importantly, it's proven to be a strain on our young marriage. We spend hardly any time together and when we do one or both of us is tired (usually both of us) and cranky (mostly me). More often than I'd like to admit, I consider Aaron and his new job to be the catalyst for our move and I am bitter that his life has been made better by our compromise, while mine has gotten worse.

I'm not truly worried about the state of our marriage. I know we love each other fiercely and this is one small, short experience at the beginning of a lifetime together. I also know that, however much I am struggling in this moment, we are both benefitting greatly in the long-term by the choices and changes we're making in the short-term. And finally, I know that we could have - and probably will have some day - far worse struggles to overcome.

Nonetheless, I am struggling - whether it be with good reason or not - with this first big, real compromise and test of our commitment to each other and our future. I want to find a way to make it easier, not just for me, but for both of us, while also quickly building toward our next step. I don't know what the solution is - undoubtedly, it will involve more compromise, but I know the rest of our lives will. It's just a matter of finding a good balance in that compromise. That delicate evenness where both parties are sacrificing a little and gaining a little, but both in the pursuit of a shared, strongly-desired goal.

We haven't found that balance yet, but we'll work toward it together. And I'm thankful that I have this current experience to guide us and prove that, however hard it may be, we can do it.

*I feel it's necessary to note that my mom is wonderful to live with. She has done laundry for us, cooked meals and made leftovers for us, and watched our sweet puppy girl during those many hours we spend at work and sitting on the freeways. She also always has wine waiting for me. She's a joy; the feeling that we have to rely on her to get where we want to be, is not.

AaronOffice

I'm not a writer. At least I don't think I am.

I generally leave my writing for my Fantasy Football shit talking or my tweets, but peer pressure goes a long way, especially if that pressure-er is your wife. That's why I'm now also writing here.

I've always wondered what it would be like to write, just to write. I guess I'm the kind of person who, if I don't have a definitive topic to write about, I won't. I've never been a "creative writing" kind of person; more of a practical writing kind of person. In college, I always loathed English essays, but straight murdered business memos and business writing (Truth: I was nominated for an award for business writing). I identified with putting all the important shit first and then all the fluff at the end; writing as if an executive who had less than five minutes of spare time could skim the first paragraph and know exactly what the rest of the memo said. I could never do the fluff in English essays and I always struggled with meeting the minimum page requirement.

I guess all that doesn't matter now because here I am, writing just to...write.

Enter my beautiful wife, Jenna. All the girl does is read and write. I'm amazed that she can do it...just for fun. They say opposites attract. She and I couldn't be more different in our ideas of awesome things to do during down time. She's always got her nose in a book or she's in front of her laptop writing about something. Me, on the other hand, I can often be found in front of the TV watching anything that has to do with a bunch of dudes on a team trying to beat another bunch of dudes on a different team.

My life is sports. I used to  partake in sports just for relaxation, exercise, and fun; now it's not only my hobby, but it's my job. About four years ago, I was working a dead end job at a massive financial institution. I thought finance was what I wanted to do. My family is in the stock business and I thought that was my destiny...to follow in the family footsteps and do what they did. I worked at several banks; they're all the same and they're all shitty to work for. I decided to make a really big change and transition careers completely. I decided to pursue a career in sports.

Time out. When I said I was a sports fan, I wasn't fucking around. These are the sports I'm into: Hockey, Football, Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, Golf, Tennis, and even Rugby. How many American guys do you know that are into Rugby? I decided to turn my passion for sports into a career. I'd always heard if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life. So I made the decision to go back to school and get my Master's in Sport Management at Long Beach State (Go Beach!) here in Southern California.

Coincidentally, this is the exact time I met my now wife, Mrs. Team Awesome. I got my first internship with the LA Galaxy soccer team when we first started dating and I haven't looked back. It's weird how great things come in pairs...or threes or whatever that rule is. In this case, I met the woman of my dreams and started on my career path at the exact same time.

Fast forward three and a half years. I've since quit my job at the bank and have been hired full time with the Galaxy, and am engaged to marry Jenna in August. My manager at the Galaxy approaches me and says the Director of Ticket Sales & Service position at the Ontario Reign is available and they think I'd be a great fit (the Galaxy and the Reign are part of the same ownership group). That's how you get the jobs you want in the industry (and I imagine other industries as well).

I grew up a hockey nut. My dad is a massive Los Angeles Kings fan, and thus brainwashed me into a life of torment and disappointment...that is, until 2012 when both my dad and I were at Game 6, crying happy tears along with 18,000 of our closest friends doing the same. I've cried happy tears three times in my life: 1. When I proposed to Jenna 2. The day my beloved Kings finally won the Stanley Cup 3. Almost exactly a month ago when I married the woman of my dreams. Needless to say, I'm really into hockey.

I've always wanted to work in hockey, and this was my chance. I went in for the interview and felt pretty confident, but you never truly can get a read during an interview. So I crossed my fingers and wished for the best. A week later I got the call:

"Hi Aaron, this is the President of the Ontario Reign...we really didn't know what to expect when you came in, and we were blown away. You impressed us on all levels and we're glad you came in..."

Pause. This is the moment in the conversation I'm expecting: "BUT, we decided to go with another candidate. Soooooooo, good luck in the future!"

This conversation did not end that way.

"...soooo we'd like to offer you the position!"

Cue simultaneous vomiting and shitting in my pants.

The next day I accept a job with the Ontario Reign professional hockey team and am one step closer to my dream of being a Team President of a professional sports team. Oh, and I get married in a little over two weeks.

When it Reigns, it pours.

It's now twice that these huge moments in my personal and professional lives have intersected. I have no idea if this will ever happen to me again, but if it does it's going to be pretty fucking awesome.

[Note from Jenna: Time to have a baby?!]

Thanks for reading my first venture into blogging and writing just to write. I guess I'm not so bad at this fluff thing after all.

Aaron and I were married exactly one month ago today.

It. Is. Surreal.

I know everyone says this about everything important, ever - but it feels, simultaneously, like our wedding was just yesterday and like we've been married forever. It has been the best month of my life and yes, I do say that mostly because two weeks of it were spent traveling through France, Spain, and Greece. I am under no illusion that the rest of my life will be as incredible.

I kid. Kind of.

Though I've long felt that we were family - that Aaron was a perfect extension of me; a missing limb - we are officially family now, and this is the place where we will share our thoughts, our adventures, our news (BABIES!), and whatever else we feel like sharing.

We hope you'll follow along :)

I said this past month has been the best month of my life, and it has - not just because of my incredible, perfect wedding day or the adventures and comfort of my honeymoon - but because I've been lucky enough to find my perfect partner in life, who encourages my whims, supports me as I falter, and makes me laugh so hard you'd think I'd have a six-pack. (Update: I don't.) I hope I have been and will continue to be that sort of partner to him.

Here's to one month and many more months to go!